Silent treatment in a relationship quotes

Silent Treatment Quotes (6 quotes)

silent treatment in a relationship quotes

Both types of emotional cutoffs can destroy relationships. Those who were brought up learning to use the silent treatment as a communication tool should be. The silent treatment in a relationship is a type of emotional abuse. Learn how to deal with someone who is using this abuse tactic to exclude you. It's really bad for your relationship. Why You Should Never Give Your Partner The Silent Treatment . Lebanon, New Jersey: This Tiny, Unknown Company Is Disrupting A $ Billion IndustryEverQuote Insurance Quotes.

Why do people use the silent treatment? As my story demonstrates, silence is a weapon. It can be used to punish, control, disempower, or run away from a person or problem.

People who use silent treatment to manipulate often have the following characteristics: They never learned to express themselves assertively. They have strong narcissistic tendencies. If you know someone who displays these characteristics, and that person gives you the silent treatment on a regular basis, know that you are not powerless against them.

silent treatment in a relationship quotes

Here are the six things you can do to respond to the silent treatment in your relationship: Dig deep into the reasons for the silent treatment. They may have trouble expressing themselves, especially when it comes to negative emotions like anger and grief. They only care about the power silence gives them — the power to compel you to do what they want, the power to make you grovel at their feet, the power to make you do feel desperate to get back in their good graces.

Before doing anything drastic about the silent treatment, make sure you know where the silence comes from. Ask the person directly why they clam up and let them know how it makes you feel. Avoid letting the silent treatment get the better of you.

Remember that people who give the silent treatment are looking to get a particular reaction out of you. Preoccupy yourself with other things to keep your thoughts away from the incident. Directly respond to the silent treatment with calmness, and talk to the person kindly.

When that time comes, take a deep breath, clear your mind, and ask your partner to talk in a private, comfortable place. Start off with a positive, factual statement. Make an offer of reconciliation. For example, a conversation with your girlfriend may look like this: So when you avoid talking to me about things that bother you or just clam up, it makes me feel isolated and unloved.

Clearly state your boundaries. If your relationship has soured because of the ongoing silent treatment tactic, you may want to end the relationship outright. Or you may want to state your boundaries and consequences plainly before you decide to end things. Take care of yourself. The moment you start to feel like that, STOP. Stop beating yourself up.

silent treatment in a relationship quotes

Stop berating yourself for not being a mind reader. If someone gives any indication that they want to change, offer to help them. If you do their thinking for them, they won't learn how to be direct when sharing their thoughts and feelings.

How can you have an authentic, connected relationship by being false? Instead, try to empathize with your partner by saying you understand that they're upset or angry and that you would like to bridge the gap that has come between you. Apologize if You're Truly Sorry Think about whether you really may have done or said something to hurt your partner or make them angry.

Admit and acknowledge any wrongs that may have caused offense and apologize sincerely. Ask Yourself Whether it's Just a Personality Difference Is your partner an introvert while you are more of an extrovert? Introverts need more time to process their emotions, especially when things get intense or they feel that they've been attacked or insulted in some way.

6 Ways To Deal With The Silent Treatment In A Relationship

If this is the case for you, tell your partner that you'll give them a certain amount of time to themselves and that you'll be back after the time is up to talk. Of course it's best if they agree to this plan. Set Rules for Healthy Communication When communication is difficult it can help to create some rules.

Give your partner and yourself permission to calm down. Sometimes when we feel waves of anxiety, panic, or rage, our bodies become saturated with adrenaline. This is called "flooding," and it happens when intense feelings, thoughts, or sensations are just too much to integrate in the moment. Wyatt Fisher, a marriage counselor in Boulder, CO. Regular stonewalling is toxic to a healthy relationship.

Then they should come back together at an agreed-upon time when they are relaxed to talk through the conflict. It is often part of a pattern of poor communication. But the silent treatment, when structured, is a part of research-supported Behavioral Couples Therapy. I've been surprised to learn how many women have suffered the silent treatment for days, weeks, even months at a time in their marriages.

I remember feeling extreme anguish when my guy wouldn't talk to me for a couple of hours—and he wasn't trying to dole out the cold shoulder but simply cooling off. The silent treatment is painful to endure, and in my opinion someone who stonewalls another person to gain control of a situation is emotionally abusive.

They're saying, in essence, "You are unworthy of being recognized as a human being worth decent treatment. The brain reacts in the a similar way, whether the behavior is physical harm or emotional neglect. Others, however, say that typically the silent treatment is just a poor form of communication. They can then be silent towards their partner for that time. Take some time to cool off.

Give your partner space to think. Don't apologize unless you're truly sorry. Apologize if you're truly sorry. Ask yourself whether it's just a personality difference. Set rules for healthy communication. Changing Your Approach to the Relationship Since the silent treatment is a way for your partner to gain control, you need to take care of yourself so their behavior doesn't leave you feeling humiliated and rejected.

Remind yourself that your partner feels uncertain and out of control.

Six Ways to Respond to the Silent Treatment in Relationships

Do not resort to sulking, pouting, or badgering. Try to maintain a calm attitude if you can. Take a walk to get a breath of air.

silent treatment in a relationship quotes

Consider whether you too might be trying to control the relationship more than your partner is comfortable with. Other Ways to Address the Problem The majority of arguments don't start because of what is said. They start over how something was said.

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If you find yourself sounding like you're making a demand or you feel like you're about to! He didn't pick up his towels again! If you think it means that he's forgetful, you'll have a different response than if you think it means that he doesn't have any respect for you.

Once you define what the event means—to you, not to him—you're ready to answer the next question. What is your real goal?

silent treatment in a relationship quotes

Is your goal to have a clean bathroom or to make him do things your way? If you're really only looking for a clean bathroom, you'll need to figure out what you can do to make sure your bathroom's clean even if he never changes his behavior.