Fewer couples are willing to remain in dysfunctional marriages if it means living for years with frustration and unhappiness. Remember, "til death do us part" can. Though menopause is a natural biological process, the side effects — like hot menopause (and aging in general) can be tough on marriage. Learn how relationship issues at menopause can affect sexuality. The North American Menopause Society (NAMS) provides resources for women to gain an .
Moreover, menopausal woman's concerns about separation and divorce of their children inhibited them from pondering on sexual issues. Do you take good care of him? My son got divorced and I have to take care of my two grandchildren.
Strategy to alleviate sexual disharmonies 1 Adaptive strategy 1 Change in roles and values Some of these women who believe that menopause is the same as ageing adopt an adoptive strategy and change their values and roles.
It changes their role from that of a pretty and sexy wife to a devoted mother and a good chef assuming that they are unable to compete with young girls. Participants related stories about menopausal women who pretended to reach orgasm. I say 'Yes, yes, yes. One informant related the story of an old man who anonymously called to talk with a midwife, saying that he was trying to suppress his sexual instincts through gardening.
I even know a gentleman who said he wanted to talk with the midwife on the phone. I do gardening to make myself busy ever since I retired from my job. I try to gradually kill my sexual instincts.
Saying “I Do” to the Peri/Menopausal Marriage
My wife is so frigid; she has no sexual desires and won't ask for it if I don't initiate it even for a month. It was mainly due to the fact that Islamic rules urged Muslim women to fulfill the sexual needs of their husband. In fact, they referred to health providers only when other treatment methods suggested by apothecaries proved ineffective.
- Marital Satisfaction in Menopausal Women with and without Sexual Dysfunction
She said that she would not allow this and would always fight over it, so he went and took a lady friend to do this. I do not lose my temper right then and there, but I pretend to be in a bad mood the day before so he won't ask me for sex that night, cause my vagina burns so much when he does it.
Marital Satisfaction in Menopausal Women with and without Sexual Dysfunction
I just can't bear sex anymore. Some women adopt an adaptive strategy by resorting to techniques such as faking orgasm or throwing a fit of temper, others are in an attempt to improve the situation and seek help from peers or friends, traditional medicine practitioners, charmwriters and healthcare providers.
Men seek a different strategy to manage sexual disharmony like remarriage or suppressing sexual instincts. However, the results should be interpreted with caution for we only interviewed healthcare providers, and they may have failed to mention some other strategies. Our study identified a number of reasons for sexual disharmony such as effects of menopausal symptom and health problem on disharmony, negative body image, big age gap in the marriage, being unaware of sexual expectations of one's partner, stereotyped beliefs regarding menopause and sexuality, prior marital dissatisfaction on sexual satisfaction.
We also added other strategies such faking orgasm, throwing a fit of temper, seeking assistance from peers, friends or traditional medicine practitioners, charm-writers and health providers. Based on the experience of our informants, some men and women made anonymous phone calls while other menopausal women preferred to seek help from peers and friends.
This confirms the potential need to form peer support groups for older women or providing telehealth cares which can offer anonymous counselling services to these women.
Our study showed that menopausal women tended to avoid sexual relationship to alleviate burning during intercourse.
Menopause and Marriage
The results of this study are consistent with previous studies in which the feeling of vaginal dryness reduced likelihood of women's engagement in sexual intercourses or their interest and enjoyment of having a passionate sexual relationship with their partners.
Several studies have shown that marital and sexual desires are affected with by fistula. According to the results of a qualitative study, Tanzania women with a fistula were forced to sleep in another bedroom or separated from their husbands due to the bad smell released from their vagina. According to which women's perception of their partner's attitude about their body was a strong predictor of body appearance cognitive distraction during sexual activities in a sample of portages women.
In China, menopausal women were worried that their husbands would tend to seek their unfulfilled sexual needs using sex workers or resorting to extramarital sex.
Our findings revealed that some menopausal women developed HIV, vaginitis bacteria and genital warts as a result of their husband's sexual relation with a new younger partner. This is consistent with Trottier and Franco 30 study in which finding a new sexual partner had led to a second peak of human papillomavirus in peri-or postmenopause period 30 and also Pearline et al. Concerns about financial problems inhibit women from reflecting on sexual issues.
This is in line with the findings of many studies in which greater income was found to be associated with sexual satisfaction, 32 frequency of sexual activity 33 and lower sexual dysfunction. According to the results of literature review, the greatest sexual satisfaction was reported by women, who had 5 to 6 year age difference with their husband.
The primary limitation of this study is that data were only obtained from healthcare providers. It can affect the reliability of the data. Thus, to gain deeper insights, the perspective of both menopausal couples and healthcare providers should be taken into account. Conclusion Healthcare providers must be aware of various sexual behaviors of menopausal women and their husbands when they see sexual disharmony in their patients.
Menopausal women should be cautious about the consequences of disregarding the sexual needs of their husbands. The results of this study can help to develop restricted guidelines for sexual discussion with menopausal women. Acknowledgement The authors wish to express their sincere gratitude to all midwife and GP who have actively participated in this study.
Footnotes Conflict of Interest: No potential conflict of interest relevant to this article was reported. International statistical classification of diseases and related health problems.
Menopause and Marriage
World Health Organization; Sexual therapists in Russia: Pleasure and gender in a new professional fiel. The cultural context of sexual pleasure and problems: Psychotherapy with diverse clients. Quality of life among Iranian infertile women in postmenopausal period: The effect of husbands' education regarding menopausal health on marital satisfaction of their wives. Vulvovaginal atrophy is strongly associated with female sexual dysfunction among sexually active postmenopausal women.
Association of lifestyle and relationship factors with sexual functioning of women during midlife.
Hence, the present study targeted to investigate the effect of health education of postmenopausal women's husbands on the women's marital satisfaction. Materials and Methods 1. Participants and setting The present study was a randomized controlled trial with two parallel arms in which participants were selected with a ratio of one to one.
It was also registered on ClinicalTrials. The study was conducted from May to August in Yazd, Iran. More detail of study protocol is explained elsewhere. Intervention program The eligibility of the randomly selected participants was evaluated through phone calls.
The eligible individuals were invited to participate in the study. All participants in the intervention group were requested to attend a briefing session with their spouses.
At the beginning of the session, written informed consent was obtained from all participants and their spouses. The spouses also filled out the demographic questionnaire and the questionnaires on their knowledge and performance about menopausal health.
Afterward, the spouses attended the first training session. The educational content, including symptoms and complications of menopause and management options, as well as the role of spouse support during transitional period, was extracted from reference books and guidelines for health care during menopause provided by the Ministry of Health and Medical Education of Iran. The educational sessions were held by the third author who was skilled in the field of menopause.
At the end of the program, the participants were provided with training pamphlets and the researcher's telephone number in case they had a question.
The control group did not receive any intervention. These participants and their spouses were invited individually to complete the questionnaires in the presence of the researcher.
They were also asked not to seek information on menopause health during the study period. Three months after the intervention, the ENRICH questionnaire and the questionnaires on the men's knowledge and practice about menopause were completed again.
To observe research ethics, the control group was provided with training pamphlets containing the content of the educational sessions at the end of the study. It could be that you are learning about this life phase at the exact same time as your partner. The important thing is for both of you to remain curious, ask questions, seek clarification and keep the lines of communication open. Avoidance and denial will only get in the way. Find the right language: This and various messages from the media could leave your partner with the wrong impression: When you use the right language and frame your experience in the right context, it will be easier for your loved ones to do the same when they are talking to other friends, family members…or even their buddies.
Ask your husband to dust off the ones he knows work for you, and to have them at the ready. While it is sometimes validating to joke around with girlfriends about our forgetfulness, incontinence or facial hair, it can be humiliating to be the punch line.
One way to address this is to chat about your own personal preferences—lovingly and privately—before it happens. You might want to kill him at some point: And it might not be his fault.