Oct 19, Jim Morrison and Pamela Courson. "There are no words to describe my relationship, but let's just say it went a little something Singer Quotes. Pamela Courson was the muse of the Lizard King, the one who lit his fire and with Pamela Courson was a muse who inspired many of Jim Morrison's songs and From the start it was a tormented relationship, filled with arguments, violence. Pamela Susan Courson (December 22, – April 25, ) was a long-term companion of Jim Morrison, singer of Courson's relationship with Morrison was tumultuous with loud arguments and repeated infidelities by both partners.
There were times he was more excited to see our dog Sage, than me. I was always waiting for Jim. I had boyfriends too, and part of that was revenge or to see if he cared and he really didn't, but part of it was to find somebody who would put me first. Just because Jim bought me things and let me spend his money, that wasn't enough. He was with so many women that I heard about and I spied on him a few times and saw it all myself, I always thought I could be replaced and then what would I do?
I spent my life waiting for Jim to come home, to make a real life with me and to marry me. I just wanted to be married, legally, with the ceremony.
I called him my husband and he never said anything but I knew sometimes it bothered him. I know to other people he usually called me his "old lady" or once in a while, his "girlfriend. I would beg him to stay with me sometimes and he would leave with whoever, his friend Babe, or others and say he had to go out and I wouldn't see him for days. I wanted what Ray Manzarek and Dorothy had.
Jim and I went to their wedding and I thought ours should be next. People believed Jim and I were so in love because they would see us at parties. I liked to find the right clothes and do my make-up. I would starve myself if I gained a few pounds. I liked to socialize and hear the latest gossip. Jim would act like I was the center of his world at some of the parties but as soon as it seemed I was distracted, talking to other people, I would see the looks Jim gave other females that he was either sleeping with or going to sleep with.
Jim was always on the prowl, even in public. Imagine how it made me feel. If you wondered why I stayed, I was waiting for him, to change and make me his one and only. I didn't want an open relationship, I never wanted that but that was the only way I could have Jim.
He would not accept monogamylooking back, if he had really been in love with me, I think he would have wanted only me. After the parties sometimes, where we looked so in love, Jim would take me home and leave for the night, he didn't even spend the night with me after some of those evenings, I just felt so sad so much of the time. I lived for Jim. I know people will say, he wrote songs about me. Looking back, those songs were sort of composites of me and other people he knew. He just went with ideas, and even though I was at concerts, he never dedicated a song to me, and I always hoped he would.
I want to talk about "Themis" the boutique Jim funded for me. Everybody thinks since my friend had a boutique, I had to have one too. Jim actually started talking to me about, finding something to do cause he was gone so much and when my friend brought up her boutique, I thought I could throw myself in something like that. I had been designing clothes since I was I loved fashion more than anything else really.
Jim funded the boutique and it's not like I wasn't happy he did that for me but the reason he did the photo shoot for it was because, he wanted it to make a profit. It was a business and suddenly, Jim, who never cared about money, expected a return on this boutique because he put so much into it and I did like to spend his money. He was thinking business, and he was cooperative during the photo shoot though I knew it wasn't his scene.
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He told me later how much he hated the clothes he had to pose in. So this was my dream, this boutique and Jim only stopped in a few times, though he was close by and even working upstairs sometimes and I wanted someone to share my dream with me, not just give me money for it.
That didn't happen, in fact he came in drunk and disruptive. Anyone could see, he was not into what I was doing. I was with him sometimes at the recording studio or at his concerts but there were lots of times he wasn't happy when I showed up. He had so many people around him, that's why. Why did he need me? I was just the girl at home, when he needed cleaning up and someone to take care of him. People really don't understand what it was like.
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I didn't really make money in my boutique, it was harder to run than I thought and so many people came in just to see if Jim was around or ask me questions about him, it was a drag some of the time. Themis was like a shiny new toy, I was in the spotlight and the photo shoot made me feel like a princess but it didn't last with Jim, I couldn't stay his princess for long.
I became really vengeful with Jim. I had spent all this time waiting for him to want a life with me and not with all the other women and want to spend his time with me. I had another love too, Jean. Jean and I had a very sexual relationship. He was real royalty and exciting.
He treated me well for a time, and because I wasn't allowed to go to Miami at all with Jim during his trial, I made myself sick, went into the hospital and Jim didn't rush home to me, instead he took his time getting back so I went with Jean out of the country. Jean was very sweet to me and Jim and I had not been having a sexual relationship for a long time.
When Jim would show-up, I knew I wasn't getting anything sexual. He had already given it all away. Jim was becoming a father figure to me and I was like his Mother taking care of him, it got kind of sad but Jean and I had a really strong sexual thing. Jean was great until he replaced me for his next conquest.
At that point, it was the end ofI felt I wasn't enough for anyone. I felt like nothing. I came back to Jim and his New York girlfriend showed up and told me about their affair.
It didn't surprise me, and then it was her abortion she told me about, when I wanted nothing more than to marry Jim and have his child. Nothing anyone could say about Jim and other women surprised me. Jim came back and found us there at Diane's place and Jim and I went upstairs to talk and he didn't deny anything with the New York girl, but said that he needed to go downstairs and see her. I asked him to choose me that night. My birthday was the next day and we didn't do many holidays together which always bothered me.
I asked him to choose me over her and he said he would go down and talk to her and be right back and something about how I can't control him and I didn't own him. He never came back that night, I waited all night. I went downstairs to find Jim and the New York girl asleep on the floor, naked. Jim tried to get me to apologize to the New York girl for barging in.
Can you believe it? I did everything for this man and I was suppose to apologize to her on my birthday. This was a big deal at the time because it just brought back how many times Jim choose other women over me, if I was sick, Jim wasn't around. I could never find Jim half the time and when I did, I really didn't like what I saw. I wanted a home, a family, a man who came home at night.
He was never going to give me a child, one time I told him I was pregnant in an attempt to get him closer to me but I really wasn't. He handed me cash to get an abortion, I was actually sort of hurt because he said he wasn't going to raise a kid. I did some things I shouldn't have done to try to get his attention but I wanted to believe he cared. But I thought, since Jim seemed to be done with the Doors and done with L.
It wasn't the same relationship we had when we were younger and first met. We did things together but Jim was on a mission in Paris that had nothing to do with me really. He wanted to get his films shown and spend time alone writing. It seemed like he was writing all the time and I couldn't go with him. I knew more people there than he knew in Paris and yet, he was still going off on his own to drink, and I thought, meet women.
His mail use to go to the Door's office in L. Letters from women back home that he had written to.
The Scales Of Justice: SHE LIVED ON LOVE STREET: PAMELA SUSAN COURSON
I still wasn't free and clear of Jim and other women. I started hoping Jean would take me back, even though Jim and I took this road trip to Granada and Madrid and other places, it was like he was in his own world, no talk of getting married or us moving to Paris permanently.
We didn't have sex either. It had been so long but he was coughing all the time and not interested. He was sick and I kept making him go to doctors but we didn't have that same kind of relationship when we met. He didn't make me feel beautiful. So I kept thinking maybe Jean would take me back and I spent time with Jean in June of while his girlfriend was somewhere else.
I kept looking for Jean on the trip Jim and I took, because I was feeling not very secure with Jim once again. Then I found out, Jim was telling people he didn't want to go back to L.
My heart dropped, he wasn't moving to Paris, this was like a get away and he was going home to all his girlfriends back in the U.
In fact, I stayed on Jim's back to create a will a couple of years before claiming the other Doors were greedy and they would take his money if he died and I would be out in the street. His will was my idea, I needed a piece of paper since I wasn't getting a marriage licensed signed.
Jim gave me money, he let me buy things, but the one thing he didn't give me was love. So this is the end of it all. I started learning Jim wasn't staying in Paris because he was telling people he wasn't. I questioned him and he said that he was staying but I knew he was lying to me. He told too many people I knew there and in letters he was going back to the U. It was typical of Jim to not tell me his true plans. He also told me, he was getting out of Themis since I didn't want it anymore.
I really didn't care about Themis at that point but I thought, he must plan to go back to L. I thought this was strange but he kept saying his legal fees were so high. I thought there was more to it. There are photos people can see of us just 5 days before Jim died.
We look like a happy, loving couple on a day trip in France. Jim had a lot of wine that day, so he was easy to be around.
Two riders on the storm
He wasn't saying much to me about the future, in fact, nothing at all. He was there and posing for pictures with me but he was detached and still not doing well. So then, the night before he died, we had a major fight back at the apartment after we left the restaurant across the street.
I was so angry with Jim and I started to rip-up some of his poetry that he had been writing without me around. He said some really cruel things to me, they were so bad and he had done it before but this time, I felt different. It wasn't like in L.
He was calling me bad names and telling me, when our credit cards arrived, since we didn't have any in Paris at the time, I could take mine and some cash and he would take his and some cash and he was going off without me.
He said he was done and he had somewhere else to go. He started to go on about the heroin I kept in the apartment. I thought I tucked it away and he wouldn't know about all of it, but he knew. I am not proud of it, but I got into it due to depression. I wanted to sleep and not think about anything when Jim wasn't around and I never knew when he'd be back. He was sick in Paris all the time, but he was leaving and once again, I was going to be left with a credit card and money, but without Jim.
I mentioned the letters to other women I saw and he said he was in love with someone else and going to meet her. I don't think he was, I think he was going off alone but he would often say things just to hurt me.
It went through me like a knife. I will take down your answers, but please be sure, I am surrounded in the light of Christ and you will have to tell the truth, once and for all. When you met Jim Morrison, he was not famous and it seems like the two of you were happy, what is the real story about the beginning of your relationship? He was always very kind and always paid attention to me, but all of the happiness was only in the very beginning. Jim was not at all allowing a serious relationship.
Return to the States, death and estate controversy[ edit ] After Morrison's death, Courson continued to live in Los Angeles. Former Doors employee Danny Sugerman became friendly with her in Los Angeles during this time and later wrote in Wonderland Avenue about an experience of taking quaaludes and snorting heroin with Courson.
The plaque reads "Pamela Susan Morrison —", despite the fact that "Morrison" was never part of Courson's legal name. Several months after her death, her parents, Columbus and Penny Courson, inherited her fortune. Jim Morrison's parents later contested the Coursons' executorship of the estate, leading to additional legal battles. In both parties agreed to divide the earnings from Morrison's estate equally.
She was beautiful, she looked like the Snow Queen and yet she did things like collect Lugers. She had a vicious sense of humor. She loved travel because she said you never had to think about it. Pam was often present at studio recording sessions of the Doors. Jim often used to joke and improvise during the sessions: Sometimes the two of them lived together, then for a time lived apart, sometimes they each had short affairs with other partners; Jim in Pamela had finally found his other half.
Some of their friends believed that they were actually married even though they had only taken a licence to marry with them to Paris according to Bill Siddons the ex-manager of the Doors. In a legal document dated November Pamela declares that she is the only authentic widow of Jim Morrison. Morrison, to all effects I was his wife and at his death I have become his widow; after my husband and I began to live together about 6 years ago we decided to elect residence in L.
Jim and Pam at Ray and Dorothy's wedding in We lived for a brief period in Paris, France up to the time of his death. In September I accompanied my husband on a tour which took him to the major cities in the US.
During this tour while we were in the State of Colorado we decided to get married and have a short honeymoon. Jim and I had discussed marriage many times before this tour but according to his managers the publicity that would have accompanied a regular marriage ceremony would have had a negative effect on the public image that they were trying to construct for him.
Jim told me that he had heard from a lawyer that to get married in the State of Colorado it was sufficient that the two people in question lived together, had a normal conjugal relationship and that obviously were both agreeable to the union. We had a short honeymoon in Colorado and then carried on with the tour.
We then returned to our house in Los Angeles where we continued to live together up to the death of my husband in July of All my bills for medical care, clothes or entertainment were made out to Mrs Morrison or Pamela Morrison.
I am completely without money to live on. It is for this reason that I respectfully ask to be able to obtain this remuneration for my expenses. I wish to conclude by saying that I firmly believe I can consider myself legally married to Jim as from 30th Septemberas he has always treated me as his wife.
Of this I am sure especially after Jim has named me his sole beneficiary in his Will; he has always taken care of me and I of him, just like a married couple. Pamela and Jim at "Themis". She went all over the world buying articles for the shop and Jim footed the bill.